I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
