It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
