I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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