u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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