return my video game
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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