we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
