Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
