but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize