I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
