we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
