I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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