Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
