So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
