I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Screwed.edu
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
