Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
