Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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