you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
