I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
