so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
