He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
