Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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