How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
