covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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