We should be called the Road Head Warriors
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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