why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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