yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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