If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
