That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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