were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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