Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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