i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
