I wannas sexs uuuuu
Betty ford says i'm here all night
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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