I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
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I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
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I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.