how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
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It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
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do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.