Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
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that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
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Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave