his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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