At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.