Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.

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  (215): he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out. http://tfl.nu/lwob
  Replies (15) Good night (1001) Bad night (3511)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner

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  (847): so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner http://tfl.nu/rb90
  Replies (20) Good night (4896) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.

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  (585): Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird. http://tfl.nu/h1yk
  Replies (8) Good night (3030) Bad night (1592)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.

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  (469): I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over. http://tfl.nu/vab8
  Replies (13) Good night (974) Bad night (3997)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."

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  (+27): She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga." http://tfl.nu/sbmz
  Replies (13) Good night (1987) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?

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  (570): Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me? http://tfl.nu/gcj7
  Replies (13) Good night (720) Bad night (1242)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.

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  (845): I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog. http://tfl.nu/tom2
  Replies (5) Good night (1958) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.

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  (541): Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground. http://tfl.nu/5mkq
  Replies (1) Good night (879) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.

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  (757): I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date. http://tfl.nu/oqzd
  Replies (5) Good night (1493) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK

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  (416): He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK http://tfl.nu/pb5y
  Replies (20) Good night (936) Bad night (2376)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers

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  (+61): Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers http://tfl.nu/a2tk
  Replies (7) Good night (1145) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.

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  (808): Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard. http://tfl.nu/xtbf
  Replies (1) Good night (655) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.

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  (760): I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays. http://tfl.nu/jyu4
  Replies (4) Good night (742) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029

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  (402): I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029 http://tfl.nu/erxw
  Replies (7) Good night (367) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.

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  (814): Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again. http://tfl.nu/nw0b
  Replies (0) Good night (379) Bad night (286)

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