Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.