Apparently you make a good broom.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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