I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
where are my eyebrows?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
