It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
