You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
