God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
