Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
