Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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