I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My breath smells like gin and sadness
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
