If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
