help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
