I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
