i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
