quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
