I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
