im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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