When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
