but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
