I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
