we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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