U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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