Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
