McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
