tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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