we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
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Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
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Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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