32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
