Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
