Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My vagina is very pro this idea
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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