Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
