So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize