Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
