what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
