I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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